Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, young princess ( sounds better than an old hag, doesn’t it?), who had just bought a brand new camera with a super zoom lens to take pictures of the tall ships that were congregating in her village for a once-in-a-lifetime event. Okay, let’s just cut to the chase. After an unfortunate event, the princess asked her long-suffering mirror, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the klutziest of them all?”
That would be me. I broke my foot last night in one of those flash moments you wish you could do over. It started with my husband calling me before he came home from work, asking me if I’d like him to pick up some wine to have with dinner. We usually don’t drink any wine except as a treat on the weekends, but the day was gorgeous and sunny, and we decided to bend the rules. My husband walked in with three bottles of wine and asked me which one I would like him to open. I went for the most expensive one, a cabernet. He poured glasses for both of us and we took them out to the patio. I only had a sip or two before I went to the refrigerator in the garage and pulled out a box of frozen green beans. “I’m going to get these started while you throw the brats on the grill,” I told my hubby. I grabbed my glass of wine in the other hand and started through the screen door. Unfortunately, my sweatshirt caught on the door handle, and not realizing it, I kept going before it jerked me back. I had no free hand to grab onto anything, even if there had been something to grab onto. I teetered. I tottered. But there was no help for me. I managed to not drop the glass, though there wasn’t a drop of wine left in it, rolling my foot horribly. I yelled for my husband, and he came running in and saw me sitting on the floor in a puddle of red.
“Oh, my God, what happened? Where does it hurt?” He thought I was losing all my blood, but when he saw my empty glass, he realized it was wine and relaxed a little. Long story short, we went to the emergency room, my foot is indeed broken, and I will be out of commission for a good couple of months. I will miss seeing my beautiful ships.
Now let me tell you how this works. I am like my father. If he ever got sick, he went into his room and closed the door and didn’t come out until he was all better. He did not want anyone fussing over him. I hate that I am in this position of being essentially helpless. I hate putting anyone out, I hate having my poor hubby do so much for me, and I don’t want to repeat this story again. That’s why it is in such detail. This post is not for you, dear Readers. It is for my family and friends. I do not want them to call and say, “You poor thing.” I don’t want them to ask me for any more details. If they come and visit, I want them to ignore my foot, don’t even glance its way, and pretend this whole thing never happened. If I could just go in my room and close the door until I’m all better, I would do that, but six weeks seems a long time to go without food. And human contact, of course.
So there you have it. You will not be getting any fabulous pictures from me from my fabulous new camera. If you are my friends or family, you will not pick up that phone and call me and make me talk about this. And if I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that I should have chosen the Malbec. What a waste of good wine.
Coming East 
Ouch! So sorry for your injury! However, I love your writing. Love your light heartedness in a rough situation.
Thanks, Peneolpe. I have found that being miserable over things that can’t be helped doesn’t make them any easier to bear, so you just have to make the best of it.
So sorry about your foot. But I agree with the other comment that your pedicure looks great! I’ve never had a broken bone (knock on wood); wait, does a big toe count….? anyway, so sorry you missed the tall ships.
Wishing you a smooth recovery – quick healing!
Yea, I would think a broken big toe definitely qualifies, Diana.
I’m behind on my blog reading, so the good news is you are over a third way through your recovery period by now! 😉
Actually, Rufina, tomorrow will be three weeks and I’ve got nine more weeks to go. Can’t believe how big this boot is.
Wow! Lots of blog time if you wanted it. I’ve had many casts over my time (I was a clumsy child). I feel for you. 🙂
One would think, Rufina, but this is making me lazy instead of productive.
You certainly deserve a break after hauling yourself up all those mountain retreat stairs. I bet the view is worth it. You can relax and celebrate now! 🙂
Hauling my butt up those steps was well worth it, Rufina. We had a great time. Loved sitting on the porch in the rocking chair, sipping a glass of wine in the evenings.
Yikes! I’m a bit behind and thought I saw something in a later post about that thing we’re not talking about. I’m the same way so I’ll say no more.
I like you, Robin.
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Mmmmm … looks like hubby will be learning the art of pedicure.
Get well soon …
Thanks, Isadora. Luckily, the young woman I’m helping learn English is a pedicurist! She came to the house and did my nails this week. How lucky am I!
How annoying and awful for you – and you broke your foot too! Such a waste of wine – bad girl 😛
More seriously – I hope you get better soon. Don’t be too grumpy if anyone tries to be nice to you but I hope it might mean we get more blogposts from you while you sit, locked away in your room in self-imposed exile! Get well soon 🙂
LOL, Ken. Believe it or not, this has made me even less wanting to write. I need to remedy that. It’s hard to come up with topics when I’m confined to the couch all day. Thanks for the good wishes.
Search the internet for ideas! I’m sure boredom will force you to write something in the end!
Thanks, Ken. You are so right. The Internet is full of ideas. I just need to get off my butt…oh, wait, I can’t do that. LOL
lol – the sense of humour hasn’t been lost then! 😉
And I hope it never will be, Ken!
Oh my, Susan! I’m sorry to hear about your foot and…the bottle of wine. Btw, I was quite amused to see you all wrapped up in that gauze with your lovely red or pink(?) toenails sticking out. Still “looking gorgeous” even after a fall.:)
Thanks, Yen. Yes, a girl must do what a girl must do.
I hate having people wait on me. Ugh. The good news is you can still write and type. I hope you have a laptop. Yes? A notebook and a pen is good enough, though. Happy writing!
I not only have a laptop, Shary, I have an iPad, so I’m good to go!
Oh my gosh, you poor thing! A broken foot and the cab is gone. So sad!
Thanks, Leah. And my sweet hubby had splurged on that bottle of cab.
Just as I did when I broke my ankle before Christmas, you had the presence of mind to have a pedicure the day before the accident. Precognisance?
One of the things I learned during my six weeks ‘cast’ was to accept the help offered as people really want to help and sometimes it is good just to sit back and accept. Now I walk around with eyes glued to the ground in case I slip – miss lots of good photo ops in this way but still have two functioning feet.
Take care – hugs and warm wishes from New Zealand, 🙂
I know that when I finally get to use my foot again, Judith, that I will be excruciatingly aware of what I’m doing and where I’m going because I don’t ever want to do this again. I hear all the time about older people falling, and I don’t want to be one of them, though I suspect that meds can have something to do with that and I’m not on heavy duty meds yet.
when I did that before Christmas you had the presence of mind to have a pedicure the day before the accident. Precognition? And I do know exactly how you are feeling so all I will say Susan is that I am sending warm hugs and love from Wellington, New Zealand. Take care.
One of the many things by friends both IRL and on the blogosphere told me was to learn to accept the help offered/given. Hard but you can do it! 🙂
Thanks, Judith. I thought about you after I did this and knew you would know exactly how I’m feeling. I’m going to use the time to work on a family project and work on my novel, so maybe some good will come of this. It is forcing me to stop procrastinating with those two things. After all, what else am I going to do?
This is NOT a sympathy message. I am NOT sad to hear about your poor little self! And I certainly do NOT love you to pieces!!! 👼👼
Lucky for you that you listened to me, Liz, or you would be in trouble! Needless to say, I should be readily available for FaceTime this week. I have a doctor’s appointment Wednesday morning that George is taking me to, but other than that, I won’t be leaving the house. Literally. I can’t even get myself out the door to sit in our little courtyard.
Look at those gorgeous toenails! Kick back and have all the wine your heart desires.
Ha-ha, Adela. I need someone to pour it for me. Maybe now I’ll finally get around to finishing that guest post I promised you!
So sorry to hear about your foot, Susan! This is the first post I read after my two-week vacation. Six weeks is a long time go with one foot… take care.
Thanks, Amy. I need to “hop” on over to your blog and see how your vacation was. Hope you blogged about it.
Sorry… but wow, you’re so acrobatic! You didn’t break the glass, impressive! And, I think this is a PERFECT opportunity for a rear-window few weeks with your new camera in hand (I know you’ve seen the Alfred Hitchcock classic!?) — just think of the spying you can do with that camera! So, definitely open the window and let the blog ideas roll right from where you’re sitting. Who knows what you may treat us to! And then? Then I think this calls for coffee cake, don’t you? 🙂
Definitely calls for coffee cake, Julia. Um…could you come over nd make it for me? I can’t get off the couch.
It sounds like you & I have something in common. I just hate anyone fussing over me and like you & your father I want to disappear until I’m healed.
Bless your heart. I’m sending positive healing thoughts and prayers your way anyway. 🙂
Healing thoughts and prayers I readily accept, EC. Thanks!
Sorry to hear about the wine… I mean your foot. What a marvelous opportunity you have been given – people can now wait on you – hand and foot. Haven’t you always wondered what that would be like?!?
Ha-ha, Margie! My poor hubby has a ton of patience, but I don’t want to wear him out. He says he owes me after what he put me through when he had heart surgery years ago.
I know you don’t want sympathy, but how about advice? When you get really stir crazy, head to one of the mega stores with electric chairs. That saved my sanity when I broke my ankle. And blogging should help too. And I agree, your toes look terrific! 🙂 Dor
I’d love to head anywhere, Dor, but I can’t drive a car. George is going to rent a wheelchair for me to push me around on the Boardwalk, and I’m looking into one of those knee walkers. I might even work on my novel. Now that would be novel.
1. You only drink wine on weekends? Are you out of your mind?
2. You spilled all the cab when you fell? My family has one rule (used in sporting events that could lead to injury, but i’m borrowing it for here): Protect the alcohol.
3. At least you have pretty toes to look at.
I’m sorry about your spill. Both kinds. But at least you have libations to keep you cheery while you lie about. Speedy recovery!
I know, SC, about protecting the wine! If I had just let the glass go, I might have saved myself, but it was such a good cab. Until I stop taking the Advil, I’ll have to forgo the alcohol, sad to say. Maybe just a couple more days.
Where I come from spilling alcohol is alcohol abuse 😀
Okay, Kathleen. You’ve seriously cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh!
If nothing else your toes look stunning! Love the color and they look very cute in the ace bandage. I work for a foot/ankle specialist, so Lord knows I appreciate well groomed toes! Ice and elevation are your (2) best friends for the next 4 to 6. Be well and keep posting your progress!
Thanks for the info, Life. I just took the ice off. I’ve been icing it three times a day and keep it propped up. Maybe I should work on my novel? Seems like the perfect opportunity.
What a bummer. Hope you heal quickly!
The comment from your daughter made me laugh. 😉
Thanks, DAF. she makes me laugh, too. Quite often.
Sending healing wishes and a suggestion that you splurge on the Malbec. Immediately.
Ha, Bella! I’m taking your advice. Is it five o’clock yet?
MOM! I can’t believe you didn’t call me…I just found out from reading your blog. I will not listen to you and call – but that should not surprise you. I often don’t listen to you. : )
You are incorrigible, Daughter.
Let me start by saying I am so sorry about your foot. When I started reading I thought, “OMG, Susan pulled a Bill (my brother)!” In 1976 my brother, father and I went to the old ferry landing south of Philadelphia to plop ourselves on a rock and photograph the Parade of Tall Ships as they sailed into Philly. My brother had a new Nikon with a fancy zoom lens. While adjusting his posterior so that it would be more comfortable on the rock he bumped his camera, then watched it sink to the bottom of the Delaware River! There was no saving that baby! I was actually relieved, despite wasting good wine, that your new camera did not wind up at the bottom of a body of water!
To that I will add that I am grateful to know ahead of time that you have adult children who do not live with you. When I read the part about you telling Hubby to “throw the brats on the grill” I gasped in horror!! Me thinks I’ve spent too much time lately watching the Grim(m)’s on TV!
Will there be a cast? Have you selected a nice neon if so? Good thing you had already had your pedi!
My brother had the same thought, Carol, when he first started reading this. He thought my lovely new camera was history. Your comments about throwing our children on the grill was priceless! I’m still laughing.
They don’t seem to put the old casts on broken bones anymore. Instead they have this fiberglass stuff that they mold to the back of you leg and the bottom of your foot. When it is dampened and then exposed to the air, it hardens in a out ten minutes. Then they just wrap your leg up with ace bandages, and that’s it. Much better than a cast.
Your pedicure looks wonderful! I love the color… I am like a helicopter, I hover whenever someone is out of commission, so if you hear a whap, whap, whap of a helicopter flying over, know it is I and I am thinking of you. If I could teleport a burger to you I would, instead I will eat one in your honor! Thanks for this post, I sat reading it with my hand over my mouth repeating, oh no, oh no!! So very sorry about the wine, it’s a terrible thing to waste, or is that saying a mind is a terrible thing to waste? I always get that confused. DAF
DAF, you crack me up! Oh…maybe crack isn’t a good word to use right now. That burger idea sounds good. Maybe I’ll have hubby pick a couple up to throw on the grill tonight. Thanks for caring, Friend.
Aurghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enough said, Bro.
Finish the wine, Sis.
Good idea, Bro.
Oh ouch. Now, get yourself one of those rolling kneeling things, hang that camera around your neck and get back out there.
This is what I mean: http://blog.goodbyecrutches.com/Knee-walker-next-day/?wspapp=8941391807&gclid=CJymkM7RvLACFYMKKgodoS0Dmg
But maybe not the one with the basket – it might make you look like an old lady.
Ah, you already answere my question. Thanks, HG.
I bet you can rent one somewhere – try a local home healthcare provider first. Should be easier on your arms to use than crutches and you’ll be out with that new camera in no time!
I am so happy you told mea out it, HG. I called around, and locally they only rent for a month at a time and then weekly thereafter, just like on that site you sent me, so it’s kind of expensive. But I found another website where they rent them for a flat fee of $35/week with no shipping either way. Hubby’s going to rent a wheelchair this weekend so he can take me for a walk on the Boardwalk at the Oceanfront, and after I get to see the doctor on Wednesday (earliest I could get an appt.), if he says I can’t get a walking cast, then I’m going to rent one of those knee scooters. Great idea! I’m feeling better already. Thanks a bunch!
You’re very welcome. One of the positive aspects of blogging – you get to communicate with people you wouldn’t normally know.
But people you wish you lived close to, HG!
Thanks Susan. I can’t help but think that we’d be buddies if we did live close.
BTW, if you get a prescription from your doc for the wheelie thing, your insurance might cover part of it.
Good idea, HG. Will check with them. BTW, I have been nearly cheese-free since Easter. My waistline is definitely smaller.
Wonderful news Susan! My one-woman war against cheese is working!
It wasn’t that hard. I just stopped buying it, HG. But it makes a world of difference. Of course, I’ve about given up on bread products, so I’m sure that helps, too.
There’s a rolling kneeling thing, HG? Tell me about it!
You broke your foot? Hugs from Sydney! By the way were your ears burning the other night. I was having a very dry martini at a fab pub. I remembered tlking about mertinis on the verandah in one of my responses. I took a pic for you but but realised I didnt have a way of sending it:) this is the pub http://merivale.com.au/theberesfordhotel/ and we were sitting out back. Sadly its open air and the rain sent us scuttling back indoors. It was cold out anyway!
Just looked at the menu…I would love to sit out on the veranda there and have a good long chat. Maybe hubby and I will get to Sydney someday. If we win the lottery. Thanks for thinking of me.
Your poor thing, how frustrating that must me! Sign your cast from me. 🙂
I have no idea what you are talking about, Eye. I am perfectly fine. However, if I weren’t, This poor thing would thank you profusely.
I like that table you are resting your, um, your coffee cup on. What kind of camera did you get? I was impressed with that zoom! When you asked the mirror, did it respond with my name? I thought I owned that title…though I just tend to drop everything I touch. I should have sent a picture of my mocha frappe yesterday, but I was too busy cleaning it off my hubby’s tools. Praying for a speedy healing!
My dar Patti, how you made me smile today! I can’t tell you how much I enjoy you! The camera we got was the Nikon Cool Pix. I think it is the P510, but I can’t get off the couch to go look. It has a 42X optical zoom and 16 megapixels. The great thing about it is that it has a few finder instead of just the display so you can see your subject in e en bright sunlight. We have the older version Cool Pix, and we could ne er use it on sunny days because it doesn’t have a viewfinder and we couldn’t see anything on the screen in the bright light. I highly recommend it. If you get one, we will schedule photography excursions around town!