My Own Grim Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, young princess ( sounds better than an old hag, doesn’t it?), who had just bought a brand new camera with a super zoom lens to take pictures of the tall ships that were congregating in her village for a once-in-a-lifetime event. Okay, let’s just cut to the chase. After an unfortunate event, the princess asked her long-suffering mirror, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the klutziest of them all?”

That would be me. I broke my foot last night in one of those flash moments you wish you could do over. It started with my husband calling me before he came home from work, asking me if I’d like him to pick up some wine to have with dinner. We usually don’t drink any wine except as a treat on the weekends, but the day was gorgeous and sunny, and we decided to bend the rules. My husband walked in with three bottles of wine and asked me which one I would like him to open. I went for the most expensive one, a cabernet. He poured glasses for both of us and we took them out to the patio. I only had a sip or two before I went to the refrigerator in the garage and pulled out a box of frozen green beans. “I’m going to get these started while you throw the brats on the grill,” I told my hubby. I grabbed my glass of wine in the other hand and started through the screen door. Unfortunately, my sweatshirt caught on the door handle, and not realizing it, I kept going before it jerked me back. I had no free hand to grab onto anything, even if there had been something to grab onto. I teetered. I tottered. But there was no help for me. I managed to not drop the glass, though there wasn’t a drop of wine left in it, rolling my foot horribly. I yelled for my husband, and he came running in and saw me sitting on the floor in a puddle of red.

“Oh, my God, what happened? Where does it hurt?” He thought I was losing all my blood, but when he saw my empty glass, he realized it was wine and relaxed a little. Long story short, we went to the emergency room, my foot is indeed broken, and I will be out of commission for a good couple of months. I will miss seeing my beautiful ships.

Now let me tell you how this works. I am like my father. If he ever got sick, he went into his room and closed the door and didn’t come out until he was all better. He did not want anyone fussing over him. I hate that I am in this position of being essentially helpless. I hate putting anyone out, I hate having my poor hubby do so much for me, and I don’t want to repeat this story again. That’s why it is in such detail. This post is not for you, dear Readers. It is for my family and friends. I do not want them to call and say, “You poor thing.” I don’t want them to ask me for any more details. If they come and visit, I want them to ignore my foot, don’t even glance its way, and pretend this whole thing never happened. If I could just go in my room and close the door until I’m all better, I would do that, but six weeks seems a long time to go without food. And human contact, of course.

So there you have it. You will not be getting any fabulous pictures from me from my fabulous new camera. If you are my friends or family, you will not pick up that phone and call me and make me talk about this. And if I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that I should have chosen the Malbec.  What a waste of good wine.

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About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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83 Responses to My Own Grim Fairy Tale

  1. Penelope says:

    Ouch! So sorry for your injury! However, I love your writing. Love your light heartedness in a rough situation.

    • Coming East says:

      Thanks, Peneolpe. I have found that being miserable over things that can’t be helped doesn’t make them any easier to bear, so you just have to make the best of it.

  2. Dianna says:

    So sorry about your foot. But I agree with the other comment that your pedicure looks great! I’ve never had a broken bone (knock on wood); wait, does a big toe count….? anyway, so sorry you missed the tall ships.
    Wishing you a smooth recovery – quick healing!

  3. Rufina says:

    I’m behind on my blog reading, so the good news is you are over a third way through your recovery period by now! 😉

  4. Robin says:

    Yikes! I’m a bit behind and thought I saw something in a later post about that thing we’re not talking about. I’m the same way so I’ll say no more.

  5. Pingback: Regrets Pity Party | Coming East

  6. Mmmmm … looks like hubby will be learning the art of pedicure.
    Get well soon …

  7. How annoying and awful for you – and you broke your foot too! Such a waste of wine – bad girl 😛

    More seriously – I hope you get better soon. Don’t be too grumpy if anyone tries to be nice to you but I hope it might mean we get more blogposts from you while you sit, locked away in your room in self-imposed exile! Get well soon 🙂

  8. yen says:

    Oh my, Susan! I’m sorry to hear about your foot and…the bottle of wine. Btw, I was quite amused to see you all wrapped up in that gauze with your lovely red or pink(?) toenails sticking out. Still “looking gorgeous” even after a fall.:)

  9. Shary Hover says:

    I hate having people wait on me. Ugh. The good news is you can still write and type. I hope you have a laptop. Yes? A notebook and a pen is good enough, though. Happy writing!

  10. Leah says:

    Oh my gosh, you poor thing! A broken foot and the cab is gone. So sad!

  11. judithhb says:

    Just as I did when I broke my ankle before Christmas, you had the presence of mind to have a pedicure the day before the accident. Precognisance?
    One of the things I learned during my six weeks ‘cast’ was to accept the help offered as people really want to help and sometimes it is good just to sit back and accept. Now I walk around with eyes glued to the ground in case I slip – miss lots of good photo ops in this way but still have two functioning feet.
    Take care – hugs and warm wishes from New Zealand, 🙂

    • Coming East says:

      I know that when I finally get to use my foot again, Judith, that I will be excruciatingly aware of what I’m doing and where I’m going because I don’t ever want to do this again. I hear all the time about older people falling, and I don’t want to be one of them, though I suspect that meds can have something to do with that and I’m not on heavy duty meds yet.

  12. judithhb says:

    when I did that before Christmas you had the presence of mind to have a pedicure the day before the accident. Precognition? And I do know exactly how you are feeling so all I will say Susan is that I am sending warm hugs and love from Wellington, New Zealand. Take care.
    One of the many things by friends both IRL and on the blogosphere told me was to learn to accept the help offered/given. Hard but you can do it! 🙂

    • Coming East says:

      Thanks, Judith. I thought about you after I did this and knew you would know exactly how I’m feeling. I’m going to use the time to work on a family project and work on my novel, so maybe some good will come of this. It is forcing me to stop procrastinating with those two things. After all, what else am I going to do?

  13. Liz says:

    This is NOT a sympathy message. I am NOT sad to hear about your poor little self! And I certainly do NOT love you to pieces!!! 👼👼

    • Coming East says:

      Lucky for you that you listened to me, Liz, or you would be in trouble! Needless to say, I should be readily available for FaceTime this week. I have a doctor’s appointment Wednesday morning that George is taking me to, but other than that, I won’t be leaving the house. Literally. I can’t even get myself out the door to sit in our little courtyard.

  14. Look at those gorgeous toenails! Kick back and have all the wine your heart desires.

  15. Amy says:

    So sorry to hear about your foot, Susan! This is the first post I read after my two-week vacation. Six weeks is a long time go with one foot… take care.

  16. Sorry… but wow, you’re so acrobatic! You didn’t break the glass, impressive! And, I think this is a PERFECT opportunity for a rear-window few weeks with your new camera in hand (I know you’ve seen the Alfred Hitchcock classic!?) — just think of the spying you can do with that camera! So, definitely open the window and let the blog ideas roll right from where you’re sitting. Who knows what you may treat us to! And then? Then I think this calls for coffee cake, don’t you? 🙂

  17. E.C. says:

    It sounds like you & I have something in common. I just hate anyone fussing over me and like you & your father I want to disappear until I’m healed.
    Bless your heart. I’m sending positive healing thoughts and prayers your way anyway. 🙂

  18. Margie says:

    Sorry to hear about the wine… I mean your foot. What a marvelous opportunity you have been given – people can now wait on you – hand and foot. Haven’t you always wondered what that would be like?!?

    • Coming East says:

      Ha-ha, Margie! My poor hubby has a ton of patience, but I don’t want to wear him out. He says he owes me after what he put me through when he had heart surgery years ago.

  19. dorannrule says:

    I know you don’t want sympathy, but how about advice? When you get really stir crazy, head to one of the mega stores with electric chairs. That saved my sanity when I broke my ankle. And blogging should help too. And I agree, your toes look terrific! 🙂 Dor

    • Coming East says:

      I’d love to head anywhere, Dor, but I can’t drive a car. George is going to rent a wheelchair for me to push me around on the Boardwalk, and I’m looking into one of those knee walkers. I might even work on my novel. Now that would be novel.

  20. 1. You only drink wine on weekends? Are you out of your mind?
    2. You spilled all the cab when you fell? My family has one rule (used in sporting events that could lead to injury, but i’m borrowing it for here): Protect the alcohol.
    3. At least you have pretty toes to look at.

    I’m sorry about your spill. Both kinds. But at least you have libations to keep you cheery while you lie about. Speedy recovery!

  21. If nothing else your toes look stunning! Love the color and they look very cute in the ace bandage. I work for a foot/ankle specialist, so Lord knows I appreciate well groomed toes! Ice and elevation are your (2) best friends for the next 4 to 6. Be well and keep posting your progress!

    • Coming East says:

      Thanks for the info, Life. I just took the ice off. I’ve been icing it three times a day and keep it propped up. Maybe I should work on my novel? Seems like the perfect opportunity.

  22. What a bummer. Hope you heal quickly!

    The comment from your daughter made me laugh. 😉

  23. winsomebella says:

    Sending healing wishes and a suggestion that you splurge on the Malbec. Immediately.

  24. MOM! I can’t believe you didn’t call me…I just found out from reading your blog. I will not listen to you and call – but that should not surprise you. I often don’t listen to you. : )

  25. Let me start by saying I am so sorry about your foot. When I started reading I thought, “OMG, Susan pulled a Bill (my brother)!” In 1976 my brother, father and I went to the old ferry landing south of Philadelphia to plop ourselves on a rock and photograph the Parade of Tall Ships as they sailed into Philly. My brother had a new Nikon with a fancy zoom lens. While adjusting his posterior so that it would be more comfortable on the rock he bumped his camera, then watched it sink to the bottom of the Delaware River! There was no saving that baby! I was actually relieved, despite wasting good wine, that your new camera did not wind up at the bottom of a body of water!
    To that I will add that I am grateful to know ahead of time that you have adult children who do not live with you. When I read the part about you telling Hubby to “throw the brats on the grill” I gasped in horror!! Me thinks I’ve spent too much time lately watching the Grim(m)’s on TV!
    Will there be a cast? Have you selected a nice neon if so? Good thing you had already had your pedi!

    • Coming East says:

      My brother had the same thought, Carol, when he first started reading this. He thought my lovely new camera was history. Your comments about throwing our children on the grill was priceless! I’m still laughing.

      They don’t seem to put the old casts on broken bones anymore. Instead they have this fiberglass stuff that they mold to the back of you leg and the bottom of your foot. When it is dampened and then exposed to the air, it hardens in a out ten minutes. Then they just wrap your leg up with ace bandages, and that’s it. Much better than a cast.

  26. Your pedicure looks wonderful! I love the color… I am like a helicopter, I hover whenever someone is out of commission, so if you hear a whap, whap, whap of a helicopter flying over, know it is I and I am thinking of you. If I could teleport a burger to you I would, instead I will eat one in your honor! Thanks for this post, I sat reading it with my hand over my mouth repeating, oh no, oh no!! So very sorry about the wine, it’s a terrible thing to waste, or is that saying a mind is a terrible thing to waste? I always get that confused. DAF

    • Coming East says:

      DAF, you crack me up! Oh…maybe crack isn’t a good word to use right now. That burger idea sounds good. Maybe I’ll have hubby pick a couple up to throw on the grill tonight. Thanks for caring, Friend.

  27. Mark says:

    Aurghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Huffygirl says:

    Oh ouch. Now, get yourself one of those rolling kneeling things, hang that camera around your neck and get back out there.

  29. gaycarboys says:

    You broke your foot? Hugs from Sydney! By the way were your ears burning the other night. I was having a very dry martini at a fab pub. I remembered tlking about mertinis on the verandah in one of my responses. I took a pic for you but but realised I didnt have a way of sending it:) this is the pub http://merivale.com.au/theberesfordhotel/ and we were sitting out back. Sadly its open air and the rain sent us scuttling back indoors. It was cold out anyway!

    • Coming East says:

      Just looked at the menu…I would love to sit out on the veranda there and have a good long chat. Maybe hubby and I will get to Sydney someday. If we win the lottery. Thanks for thinking of me.

  30. Your poor thing, how frustrating that must me! Sign your cast from me. 🙂

  31. pattisj says:

    I like that table you are resting your, um, your coffee cup on. What kind of camera did you get? I was impressed with that zoom! When you asked the mirror, did it respond with my name? I thought I owned that title…though I just tend to drop everything I touch. I should have sent a picture of my mocha frappe yesterday, but I was too busy cleaning it off my hubby’s tools. Praying for a speedy healing!

    • Coming East says:

      My dar Patti, how you made me smile today! I can’t tell you how much I enjoy you! The camera we got was the Nikon Cool Pix. I think it is the P510, but I can’t get off the couch to go look. It has a 42X optical zoom and 16 megapixels. The great thing about it is that it has a few finder instead of just the display so you can see your subject in e en bright sunlight. We have the older version Cool Pix, and we could ne er use it on sunny days because it doesn’t have a viewfinder and we couldn’t see anything on the screen in the bright light. I highly recommend it. If you get one, we will schedule photography excursions around town!

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