Regrets Pity Party

I just read Diane Owens’s blog, In My Opinion, and she wrote an excellent answer to the question, “Do you have regrets?” As I said in my comment to Diane, since we can’t go back, we just need to go forward. Though we all know dwelling on regrets isn’t healthy or productive, none of us can totally avoid it. Sometimes it helps to drag out some of our regrets and have a pity party for them before we move on. The trick is not to have a pity party too often or over and over again for the same regrets. Here, then, are some of my regrets:

I wish I’d asked my parents more questions about family before it was too late. I have no idea who some of those people are in old photos, and there’s no one left alive to ask. I’m hoping we aren’t related to some of them.

I wish I had learned to like beer. It is so much cheaper than wine.

I wish I had pursued my junior high dream. I could be sitting on the Supreme Court right now. I would have been one of the liberal members.

I wish I had learned to ice skate. I wish I hadn’t stopped taking piano lessons and practicing. I wish I hadn’t cut my beautiful long red hair the day before our wedding (but thank you, George, for marrying me anyway). 

I wish I had chosen the black bathing suit in the L.L. Bean catalogue for my first new bathing suit in years instead of the polka-dot blue one (no, it is NOT a bikini). The black one would have gone much better with this grey space boot I will be wearing for the next twelve weeks on this broken foot. Speaking of that, I most heartily regret having my hands full and wearing the sweatshirt that got caught on the screen door last week that led to this whole mess in the first place.

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About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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37 Responses to Regrets Pity Party

  1. pattisj says:

    I think you were looking ahead. If you liked that blue polka dot suit best, you got the right one. You won’t have that cast next summer! 🙂 I didn’t know you had red hair when you were younger. It’s beautiful. I like the hat, too!

    • Coming East says:

      You are right, Patti. It will still be new next year. I loved my red hair, too, but sadly, red hair doesn’t stay and is impossible to reproduce artificially so that it looks natural.

  2. Hey looking pretty hot in that pic from back then! Wow! 🙂
    I see you are still smarting from the whole door handle/red wine incident – not reconciled yourself to the injury then yet? Oh dear! Keep exorcising the ghost! 🙂

    • Coming East says:

      Ha-ha, Ken. I think I was all of sixteen in that picture. As for the foot, no, I’m not happy about it, but I’m reconciled to it because what good would it do me to be otherwise? That being said, I’m hoping that when I see the doctor in a week and a half, she’ll say, “OMG! This is a miracle. Your bone is completely healed!”. Yea, I’m sure that’s what will happen.

  3. Love the post, but had to comment on the pic too – so pretty 🙂

  4. Sadly, developing a fondness for beer might have saved you from the space boot, as you were protecting the wine at the time. That said – wine is still better! It’s interesting how people define regret differently; I can see the one about asking your parents more questions as fitting in with my own definition, but the others less so. Then again, as I know the last one was definitely tongue-in-cheek, perhaps I’m taking most of them too seriously!

    • Coming East says:

      Yes, most of them were tongue-in-cheek, SC. Buti really do wish I had asked my parents more about their lives. I know I loved to hear their stories, but I wish I had paid more attention and got them to tell their stories more often so I could remember what they said.

  5. Huffygirl says:

    I tend to dwell too much on my regrets, so I’m not going to add any here.

    Gorgeous red hair – you look a lot like your pajama days daughter in that picture.

  6. yen says:

    Love the pic, Susan! You look so lovely and gorgeous! Enjoyed reading this post and got me thinking about the things I regretted. 🙂

  7. Amy says:

    Beautiful hair, beautiful eyes,…beautiful picture!

  8. Sorry about the boot not matching the bathing suit — now that’s not a fashion concern you hear everyday 🙂 As for regrets… I’m with Shary, I dwell on them way more than I should or really want to. That said, you and I DO share two regrets: I wish I hadn’t stopped taking piano lessons (and practiced more) and I too wish I hadn’t had my (brown) hair cut the day before my wedding.

  9. LOVE this post! That picture is wonderful. I prefer wine to beer for sure. And I hope your foot mends soon!

    • Coming East says:

      Thanks, Darla. Why couldn’t I have been this clumsy during the winter instead of at the start of summer? Oh, we’ll then i wouldn’t have been sitting out on the patio with a glass of wine.

  10. Al says:

    That picture is priceless. Do you still have the hat?

  11. I just have to say: WHO CUTS THEIR HAIR THE DAY BEFORE THEIR WEDDING????
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  12. Diane :0) says:

    I thought more about this entry and my only real regret is not telling people that mean a lot to me how much I love them enough 🙂

    • Coming East says:

      I don’t think we’ll ever tell them enough, Diane, so that regret is a big one. I regret that I didn’t spend the night at the hospital with my Dad. I didn’t want to tire him out and thought he would still be alive the next morning when I returned, but he died at 5 a.m. without me there. That regret will always haunt me.

  13. Shary Hover says:

    One of my worst habits is dwelling on the past. If I start thinking about regrets, I’ll be mired in them all day and my pity party would not be a short one. So instead, I’ll take your advice and just look forward. Today I’m looking forward to a good morning writing session, a wonderful yoga class and coffee with a friend this afternoon.

  14. dorannrule says:

    A fun post Susan! I love the Pity Party idea. Must try that but I’m afraid I will have to have more than one or two. 🙂

  15. OMG, I never knew you were/are a redhead, too. I find we have more in common every time I read your blog. Next thing I know, I will find out we are both related to one of those unknown family members in your pictures.

    Wait. Can you get that polka-dot bathing suit on and lounge around. That’s something to celebrate. Tummies look so much flatter in a prone position. Just keep your face above your waistline. 😉

    • Coming East says:

      You are seriously cracking me up, Adela. I think my waistline is expanding, though, because I can’t exercise…or does hoping back and forth to the bathroom on one foot count as exercise?

  16. Love this post! I dislike beer also, wish I did like it… I have passed up the perfect bathing suit and still think about it… I did learn to ice skate and loved it (yes, it’s past tense now), if I followed my junior high goal, Katie Couric would be my researcher… but I have never regretted cutting my hair. I read on a church billboard this week, ‘your past isn’t important, your future is’. That has stuck in my mind all week long, hope you are doing well. LOVE, love, love your blog! DAF

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