I love visiting our children. Living so far away from them, I don’t get to see them often enough, especially since airline tickets are so expensive. Planning the visit, the days or weeks of anticipation of the trip, pulling out the suitcase and packing, are all part of the excitement of the visit. And then the trip comes, we savor each sweet moment with our children, the sometimes intense conversations because they are so few, and before we know it, we are on our way home again. After those visits, there is always a let-down. We study the calendar, trying to find dates that might work for another visit, looking at our finances to see how we might afford another trip to see them again without having to wait so long.
It’s those after moments I need to learn to deal with better. Life needs to be lived in the moment, not the anticipation. Those after moments need to be savored, too.
Maybe you’ve hit on the answer – stay long enough for everyone to be a wee bit relieved when the visit is over… but from reading you blog, you sound like much too nice a person for your children to ever want you to leave.
Actually, Margie, my daughter said she would pay the money to have my flight changed so I could stay longer! The week went too quickly, but my honey really missed me and says he doesn’t mind sharing, but he can’t share for more than a week.
I refer to the time following a vacation or anticipated event as re-entry. As in what the astronauts went through as they returned to earth 🙂
I like that thought, Stacia. I’m re-entering today.
I know how you feel Susan. We struggle with the same thing here.
So many of us feel that way, HG.
I like to think that the anticipation, the visit, and the after-savoring just makes it three times longer.
I like the anticipation and the visit, but the after is still a little sad for me, Mark.
Great thoughts on this word – after. Seeing people we love is wonderful isn’t it? Missing them is hard, but makes seeing them again, that much sweeter. Thanks for sharing today.
Thanks, Debi, for reading. It does make the visits so sweet. We don’t stay long enough for our children to get tired of us.
Oh, I know just how you feel Susan. Our son and family have moved to California. When we are together, we can’t talk fast enough or long enough.
All the way in California, Dor! I know how you feel because we felt the same way when we lived in San Antonio and all the kids moved to Michigan and Boston. At least now we are closer, though not as close as we’d like.
You seem to have touched a nerve of those of us “of a certain age”. the ups and downs of parenting never cease. Thanks for sharing and reminding some of us that we are not alone in our ups and downs…
Yes, it does somehow help, Adela, to know that we older parents share those same heart tugs.
I know the feelings. I’m trying to learn to just savor the moment, too. Not that there’s anything wrong with a little anticipation and reminiscence. (Studies show all three — anticipation, being in the moment, and reminiscence — are good for you.) 🙂
I think you’re right, Robin. It’s the balance of the three that’s important.
I think it’s only natural to feel a let-down after something you’ve looked forward to for so long is over. But it’s good that you begin immediately planning for the next trip!
It seems that every couple of months we get to see at least one child, Dianna, except right after Christmas we go quite a bit longer. I love it the best when we all can be together, though, as we were at the Cape this past summer and will be in D.C. In a few months.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am a mom of toddlers and a baby, so your post reminded me how fleeting these years really are.
Keep kissing on those sweet babies, Jolene, because these times are so precious and fleeting, as you well know.
I so relate to this post… I have been dealing with the ‘after’ all week long.. It just isn’t fair, is it? You know you raised them to strike out on their own, and you know they are where they are supposed to be, as are you, but, it would be wonderful if their ‘there’ was in our backyard, right?
I’m not too stressed out about it anymore, DAF, because I will be winning the big lottery soon and I will build a family compound and lock them in.
great idea, why didn’t I think about that?
The key is to play harder, stay up later and be exhausted when you leave their house, then you’re too tired to feel the let-down period. 🙂
Believe me, Patti, I am exhausted from staying up late, especially since I don’t make up for it by sleeping in! I’m still an early riser.