One of my all-time favorite movies is Big, starring Tom Hanks. It cracks me up every time I see it. One of the scenes that stands out for me is when Paul is with his girlfriend and mocks Josh (Tom Hanks):
I love that “I don’t get it, I don’t get it” line. Josh’s naivete is due to his age, but there are many things I don’t understand, and my age has nothing to do with it. For example, have you ever noticed those signs posted around public schools that say “Drug Free Zone”? What is the purpose of those? Do drug pushers stop in their tracks when they reach those signs and say, “Drat! Guess I can’t sell any of my drugs here because this is a drug free zone”? I’m thinking not. Judging from the kids who sat in stoney silence in the back row of my classroom with their glazed eyes staring vacantly, I don’t think those signs meant anything to them either. In fact, maybe they thought the signs read “Free Drugs Zone.” So do those signs serve any other purpose than wishful thinking? I don’t get it, I don’t get it.
Another thing I don’t get: Have you ever been driving on the highway, surrounded by trees on either side, and seen one of those communication towers with fake pine branches sticking out of it? The tower is a good 30-40 feet above any other structure, natural or man-made, and somebody had the great idea that sticking fake pine branches out of it would somehow make it blend in? We’d think it was just another tree, although an impossibly tall one? Who are they kidding? I don’t get it, I don’t get it.
I heard that Bank of America is going to charge $5.00 every month if you use your debit card, but you can avoid that charge if you keep $20,000 in your account. So let me get this straight. If you have enough money that a measly $5.00 would never be felt, then you don’t have to pay it. But if you are struggling to make ends meet, then you’re out of luck, too bad, so sad. I don’t get it, I don’t get it.
Finally, would someone tell me why Columbus rates a federal holiday, complete with bank and post office closings, but it took us until 2000 for all fifty states to observe Martin Luther King, Jr. Day? Columbus didn’t actually set foot on our soil, and he wasn’t even a very nice guy. Should foreign exploration and imperialism be rewarded with a national observance? I don’t get it, I don’t get it.
There are many things in life that leave me shaking my head. How about you? Tell me about them.