We live in a nation of dummies and idiots. I know this is so because of the plethora of “Dummies” and “Idiots” guides on the bookshelves. Apparently, we can’t recognize such things as basic emotions or how a guitar works without someone breaking it down for us. For example, in the book The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Controlling Anxiety, in the chapter “Making Friends with Anger,” the author tells us we might be angry if we scream or cry, have antisocial behavior, refuse to talk or cooperate and are defiant.” Geez! Ya’ think? And I don’t know about you, but I really have no desire to make friends with my anger.
In Guitars for Dummies, I found out that you actually need two hands to play a chord, one to hold down the strings and the other to strum. Just holding your fingers on the frets won’t produce a sound. Who knew?
Spanish for Dummies alerted me to the fact the word “embarazada,” while looking like our English word “embarrassed” and coming from the same root, actually means pregnant. Important to know! However, I found the information that hurricanes can be bothersome to be less newsworthy.
With all the self-help books on the market, I’m wondering why some subjects have not been broached. I’d like to read “The Idiot’s Guide to Washing Dishes for Husbands.” I envision the chapter on pots and pans. It would begin with, “Husbands, when you fill all the pots and pans with water and tell your wife you’re just going to let them soak for awhile, she actually knows what you’re up to.”
If there is not a book on grammar for dummies, there should be, and I’d like to aim it at news anchors who insist on saying, “between you and I.” It’s “between you and me,” you idiots! (Sorry. Pet peeve.)
Many people would benefit from owning “The Idiot’s Guide to Texting and Other Ways to Use Your Cell Phone While Driving.” It would have one one-word chapter— “Don’t.” I’d like to hear from my readers. What dummies and idiots guides are we missing? There’s obviously a big market for them and a lot of money to be made. Why shouldn’t we get a piece of the pie?
Oh, and by the way. Four of those dummies and idiots books sit on my own bookshelves.