Better Than Supermarket Tabloids

We live in a nation of dummies and idiots.  I know this is so because of the plethora of “Dummies” and “Idiots” guides on the bookshelves.  Apparently, we can’t recognize such things as basic emotions or how a guitar works without someone breaking it down for us.  For example, in the book The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Controlling Anxiety, in the chapter “Making Friends with Anger,” the author tells us we might be angry if we scream or cry, have antisocial behavior, refuse to talk or cooperate and are defiant.”  Geez!  Ya’ think?  And I don’t know about you, but I really have no desire to make friends with my anger.

In Guitars for Dummies, I found out that you actually need two hands to play a chord, one to hold down the strings and the other to strum.  Just holding your fingers on the frets won’t produce a sound.  Who knew?

Spanish for Dummies alerted me to the fact the word “embarazada,” while looking like our English word “embarrassed” and coming from the same root, actually means pregnant.  Important to know!  However, I found the information that hurricanes can be bothersome to be less newsworthy.

With all the self-help books on the market, I’m wondering why some subjects have not been broached.  I’d like to read “The Idiot’s Guide to Washing Dishes for Husbands.”  I envision the chapter on pots and pans.  It would begin with, “Husbands, when you fill all the pots and pans with water and tell your wife you’re just going to let them soak for awhile, she actually knows what you’re up to.”

If there is not a book on grammar for dummies, there should be, and I’d like to aim it at news anchors who insist on saying, “between you and I.”  It’s “between you and me,” you idiots! (Sorry.  Pet peeve.)

Many people would benefit from owning “The Idiot’s Guide to Texting and Other Ways to Use Your Cell Phone While Driving.”  It would have one one-word chapter— “Don’t.”  I’d like to hear from my readers.  What dummies and idiots guides are we missing?  There’s obviously a big market for them and a lot of money to be made.  Why shouldn’t we get a piece of the pie?

Oh, and by the way.  Four of those dummies and idiots books sit on my own bookshelves.

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About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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6 Responses to Better Than Supermarket Tabloids

  1. You definitely started my day with a big heartwarming grin. I heartily second your suggestion of the book for broadcasters talking about “between you and I…” Please also include that fingernails on the chalkboard idiom “all (men) are not (tall).” Hey Idiots. Some (men) are (tall)! How about “Not all (men) are (tall)”? Or even “Some (men) are not (tall)”?

    While we’re at it, notice where I put those closing ” marks? They precede the closing punctuation, following the logic of the Brits who follow the same usage as with parentheses. Rules change with common usage. Let’s let logic become common usage in the USA.

  2. mypajamadays says:

    Relating to Your Wife Without Laughing When She is Having a Hormonal Moment about Her Weight for Dummies? But then again, that would require someone to read it. Sigh.

    • comingeast says:

      I’m sure our hubbies could come up with lots of titles of their own, but I don’t think I want to know about it! Your father could write the book Idiot’s Guide to Managing Your Checkbook.

  3. elaine says:

    Enjoyed, I have definitely benefited from some of the “Dummie” books, especially the ones dealing with technology. I am glad they exist.

    • comingeast says:

      As much as I like to razz them, I, too, turn to the dummie and idiot books once in awhile. You think there is one on Tai Chi? If not, maybe you and I should write one!

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