Being a Friend Isn’t Always Easy

I am not a person who needs a lot of friends. A few really good ones will do, and I’ve been blessed with those. Nevertheless, I did find it a little lonely when we first moved to Virginia Beach and I had to start all over trying to find local friends. It’s not easy to begin again in a new place when you are sixty. However, I had the good fortune of finding a friend who shared my interest in music. We got together on a weekly basis, and all seemed to be going splendidly until we had a falling out nearly a year ago. I invited her over several times after that, but she always found some excuse, and finally I stopped asking.

Recently, much to my surprise and her beneficence, she has renewed our friendship. But you never forget the incident that drove you and your friend apart. Even if you don’t remember the exact details (I still do), you remember the hard feeling, and you walk on eggshells for awhile until you feel each other out and know what ground you stand on.

In our case, the confrontation revolved around our mutual love of music. I simply had pointed out to her that she had played the wrong note in a particular piece, and she said she had not. “Did, too,” I responded. “Did not,” she countered. You see where this was headed. I would have backed off, but she was emphatic that she had played the right note and I obviously didn’t know how to read music. I may not be the best musician in the world, but I was certainly the best musician in the house at that time, and I could not let it go. You probably think I am an egotist, but I am quite secure in my ability to read music, and I wasn’t going to let her get away with telling me I didn’t know what I was talking about.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. No point getting worked up again about something that’s in the past. I’m just happy to have my friend back. I do enjoy her company enough to ignore her idiosyncrasies, as I’m sure she does mine. It’s difficult, though, because now that I have her back, I see other traits in her character that make me apprehensive.

Today, for instance, when she came over, she proceeded to pick up every fragile thing I own. Then she said she was hungry and wanted a snack. When snack time was over, in my estimation, she said she was still hungry and wanted more. Then she demanded I tell her a story, one I made up in my head with her as the heroine. Then she said we were going to play a game that I didn’t want to play. I offered other suggestions on things we could do, but she said the game was her idea and I had to play it her way. My response to that was, “Oh, yeah? Well you aren’t the boss of me.” See how she pushes my buttons? I try so hard. I really do. Luckily her mom came to the door and rescued me before we had another falling out.

I think maybe she is the boss of me.

I think maybe she is the boss of me.

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About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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32 Responses to Being a Friend Isn’t Always Easy

  1. Sigh…can you imagine the conversations you would write about if you got to see your grandchildren as often? Sometimes, I think they are the boss of me too.

  2. Margie says:

    Pretty cute!
    My daughter has been staying with me this past week, and we’ve had some quite similar conversations – except she is 40 years old, and I’m the one saying “You aren’t the boss of me!” (I guess she hasn’t ‘unwound’ from work yet…)

  3. Amy says:

    Is she the same one I read about a couple of years ago? She has grown a lot. Great story 🙂

  4. Jiawei says:

    I really thought you were writing about someone more mature than the cutie in the picture. Haha, very funny.

  5. pattisj says:

    Did you put your boss in time-out? 😉 What a character. Both of you.

  6. Boy, you had me going on this one! I was actually sitting here doubting your judgement about being friends with someone who would argue like a child with you. HA! As always, I love your sense of humor! And one thing about continuing your friendship with this little ‘bossy Bertha,’ she’s keeping you young, one way or another. 😉

    • Coming East says:

      She certainly keeps me on my toes! She’s got a mind of her own, but she’s a great kid, and well worth my effort. Besides, I don’t have a lot of friends here. LOL

  7. Shofar says:

    She’s so cute! I can see the twinkle in her eye! Your post makes me think of when my grandchildren are here, each asking for a different lunch, drink, snack while sitting at the kitchen bar counter. After a while I announce, “The snack bar is closing now!”

  8. notquiteold says:

    She LOOKS like the boss of everybody!

  9. Robin says:

    I think friendships are weird at this point in my life too and can relate to the falling out part–I had one last year, where I was similarly snubbed and can only make guesses why, but see this gal at school w/the kids all the time. I’d love to write what I really think about this subject but I haven’t been brave enough since some of these people will probably read it…. 🙂 thank you for your story!

    • Coming East says:

      I know what you men about being careful what you write because you never know who might be reading it, Robin. Now you are in a new place and must start fresh, too. I hope you are starting to make some good connections.

  10. Al says:

    Sweet, funny and a mystery til the end. All the makings of a great post.One of your best, Susan. Now my biggest problem is figuring out which of you acted more like 9-year old.

  11. lulu says:

    Sounds like this little gal is a piece of work but she will definitely make your life more interesting.

  12. Delightful story. It is hard finding friends when older– regardless of what age those friends might be. Glad you’ve reconciled and are making music again.

  13. Shall we refer to her as Madam President now or wait until she’s actually in office?

  14. Dianna says:

    You got me with this one! As I was reading the beginning of the post, I thought: “well, obviously this friend doesn’t read her blog!”
    Cute little gal, that friend who’s the “boss of you”!

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