“I could use a new windshield,” my husband said to me, ” but I guess it’s not worth it.”
“No,” I agreed. “Not on a car as old as yours. Well, actually your car isn’t old, it just has a lot of miles on it. My car is three years older than yours and it would take me three more years to put the same mileage on mine that you have on yours now.”
“Your car is three years older than mine? I thought yours is a 2007 and mine is a 2008.”
Flustered, I responded, “I said my car is a year older than yours but at the rate I drive, it would take me three years to put that much mileage on it.”
“Oh, is that what you said?” my husband chuckled.
“It might not have been what I said, but it’s what I meant, and you know what I meant.” I smiled sheepishly.
My husband chuckles a lot these days by what I say because there is such a mismatch between my words and the meaning I’m trying to convey. When we first moved here, I took my camera down to the bay and took some marvelous pictures of some of the sea birds. I came home excited, exclaiming, “I saw penguins at the beach! A whole bunch of them!”
“Penguins? Really?” My husband was grinning broadly, the skepticism heavy in his voice.
“Yes, penguins!” I said, a little testily.
“Penguins. You saw penguins in Virginia Beach. That’s truly amazing.” What I had mistakenly taken as skepticism was actually derision. Good natured, if derision can be that.
I’ll show him and wipe that little smirk off his face, I thought. “Yes, I saw penguins and I have the pictures to prove it.” I shoved the camera in his face. Who would have the last laugh now? I was thinking smugly. As we were both staring at my pictures of “penguins,” it dawned on me that we were looking at pelicans.
“Pelicans!” I said, rather too loudly. “I meant pelicans. You know I meant pelicans.” My husband continued to laugh, much longer than was warranted, if you ask me.
I don’t remember these lapses happening with such frequency when I was younger. Now they are a daily occurrence. My husband takes great pleasure in teasing me when what comes out of my mouth isn’t what is in my head. He needs to watch it, though, because pretty soon I’m going to start teasing him about having to tell him something over and over again because he can’t remember I told him a zillion times before. Oh, wait. I already do that.