This morning I read a “Dear Abby” advice column and wholeheartedly disagree with Abby’s advice. A woman calling herself “Foxy” wrote in complaining about her husband who no longer wanted to engage in swinging. They have been married for ten years, and early in their marriage they decided to try swinging. According to her letter, they had many enjoyable experiences, but now her husband no longer wants to engage in that activity. Because this woman so passionately wants to continue swinging and her husband wants no part of it, Abby agreed that divorce was probably the only way to go.
Now, just because my husband and I are in our sixties doesn’t mean we don’t know a thing or two about swinging. In fact, we used to swing ourselves and found it quite enjoyable, though we weren’t very good at it. We even took lessons. Three times. But I guess, like anything you want to be good at, you need to do it a lot, and it was hard to find opportunities. I’d like to try it again, though, and maybe, with practice, get better at it.
As enjoyable as swinging is, to advise divorce for this couple is way off base. If her husband no longer wants to swing, there are many other similar activities they could try to keep the excitement in their marriage. Ballroom dancing might be less strenuous, for example, but still offer the benefit of exercise. Admittedly, swing dancing can be strenuous if you aren’t physically up to it. I don’t know why Abby didn’t suggest that first instead of something so drastic. Or am I missing something here? We are talking about dancing, aren’t we?
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- Dear Abby: Swinging wife: ditch lifestyle or husband (goerie.com)
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My mouth fell open as I thought “She’s surely not a swinger?” and then I realised… very clever, Susan! 😉
Glad you had your doubts right from the start though, Val. I would hate to think you thought it was possible!
Oh, I LOVE it that you thought that Dear Abby column was about dancing! It made me laugh out loud. When I think of ‘swinging,’ my thoughts automatically go to my front porch swing….and also this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_3lq945YsU&feature=related
Yes, Mama, I’m not worldly and it don’t bother me a bit! Never heard that song, Mama, but I liked it.
Nice twist. 🙂
I wrote it, Eye, because at first I really didn’t know what they were talking about because it is way out of my frame of reference.
Well whether or not it was intentional, it worked well. Neither is particularly in my frame of reference either. 🙂
Oh, I see. And I thought it was the different kind of swinging. 😉
It’s a cultural thing, Yen. Be glad you have no idea what it’s all about!
We have a swing set in the back yard – that is what I think of when I hear about swinging!
Yes, Margie, out minds work in the same way. The thought of what that other swinging is all about is too gross to even contemplate.
I was confused at first, but slowly getting it… Nicely done!
Thanks, Shanghai.
Oh ho Susan. So you and your George are swingers. Good on you – but wait, you are talking about dancing and the person writing to Abby was talking about?
When my husband read my blog last night, Judith, he also thought it was about dancing, bless his heart. Neither if us could imagine married people thinking it is okay to engage in extramarital activity, so our minds didn’t even go there when we first read that Dear Abby letter. Needless to say, my husband was quite shocked when I explained to him what the letter was really about. “Why get married?” he asked. Exactly!
this made me laugh out loud!! literally. cute!
Glad you laughed, Smile, because I was shocked at people who thought I was serious at first. I thought they knew me better than that!
I pictured you and George on the swing set at the park, after you shoved the other kids off! LOL
LOL, Patti!
Knowing you Susan, I got it right away, and your point. I often hope those sad letters to Dear Abby that are largely about problems that are self-created, are made up, but alas, I’m sure they are not.
I feel the same way, HG. I can’t believe how some people live and how they don’t get that they are their own worst enemy. But, hey! It keeps Abby in a job.
My BF and i have been together almost 10 yrs. I know several couples with the same time under their belts and some of them “swing”. I don’t know why but it makes me sad. So I’m fairly sure the writer wasn’t talking about dancing;) I can’t imagine a couple divorcing over a foxtrot gone wrong can you? Still, who knows what goes on in the suburbs 🙂
As someone who has been with the same partner for over forty years, GCB, I can’t imagine why anyone would think a marriage could survive that kind of infidelity, even though both the partners have agreed about it. That letter boggled my mind. I was we’ll aware that it had nothing to do with dancing after I read the entire letter, but it was so ridiculous, I couldn’t let it alone. If you are going to engage in that kind of activity, don’t whine about it later if it destroys your marriage.
Let me assure it it does destroy the relationship sooner or later. To me, the thought is quite grotesque and I am no angel!
Exactly, GCB. People reap what they sow.
You thought you were reading about swing dancing… I thought I was reading about you and your husband “swinging” in that other erotic culture. I was disappointed in you and that I had misjudged you,but who really knows anyone they meet in cyberspace? Still hoping I was wrong, I read your post over again, and again (I’m admittedly a bit slow), when it suddenly dawned on me you are not a swinger after all, and I love you still.
At least you know what it is, Dor. I’m so naive, I still don’t know what it’s all about, but I can guess, and it ain’t good! So glad you reread my post and gave me another chance!
I just imagined a swing set… then when I started reading, I thought… oh no… then went to dancing and I just laughed! Great post…
Thanks, DAF. I’m so naive to the ways of the world, I really did think they were talking about dancing, but it didn’t make sense, so I had to rethink it.
😆
Fun post! I know a swinging couple. And they can dance, too.
See, there are lots of us around, SC! Life isn’t over just because you can’t swing dance.
You had my poor brain feeling like the ball in a match at the US Open! I went from Georgette’s recent post about swinging to Dancing With The Stars swinging to “swinging.” This post was hysterical and definitely woke up my brain this morning!! Too funny!
I must be older than I feel, Carol, because I had to guess what swinging meant when I read the letter. I seriously thought it was about dancing until I read a little further. This is way out of my frame of reference!
Try Zumba. Just for you. The husbands will benefit while you practice. Hint: Avoid mirrors. It feels so much sexier than it looks, when you are in your sixties.
We have Zumba at the Y, Adela—in a room full of mirrors.
Oh you had me hanging…and swinging…like a pendulum, preferrably. “Please, Lord, I thought, help her get out of this one.” Funny and clever and sends me relieved that it “ain’t so.”
I kid you not, Georgette, I really thought this was about swing dancing when I started reading it. I guess I’m not very worldly—thank goodness!
Yes, Susan, I’m sure they’re talking about dancing. Oh, by the way, did I tell you about some great land I have for sale in the Dismal Swamp. I can let you and George have it for a song.
Oh, then you’ve heard about my singing, too, Al?
Singing while swinging? Your talents are limitless.