I Am My Own Worst Enemy

I always have these grandiose plans to manage my life in order to be productive, efficient, and satisfied.  I give myself pep talks, set goals, get excited about how much I’m going to accomplish and how happy I’ll be with myself after I transform my life.  Then I get started…and  fizzle out in a sickeningly brief time.  And I’m the only person in the world who does this to herself.

No, I’m not talking about the Paleo diet plan, though with my record, that will bite the dust eventually.  I’ve actually stuck with that for a solid six days now.  Whoo hoo!  But I was posting a blog nearly every week day, without fail, reading all the blogs on my blogroll plus others from people who have made comments, building up my readership to an acceptable level, and feeling like I was on a roll.  Then, I took a week off to visit my daughter and did no writing at all.  And it felt…well, liberating!  When I returned, I wrote one blog post before we took off again to visit our other children.  Again, I did no writing, and even worse, I did no reading.  This time it didn’t feel so liberating.  It felt crummy.  Even when I tried to get back on schedule, I couldn’t come up with anything to write about.  My creativity seemed to have deserted me.  And what is even harder to swallow is that I’m the only person on this entire planet to have this problem!

I have no excuse.  I get in a cycle of procrastination, and the longer it goes on, the harder it is to break out of  the cycle.  It’s like I’m in a giant centrifuge, spinning wildly, my face flattened from the force,  my body helpless to move.  I want someone to grab my arm and pull me away.  Have you ever felt like that?  Of course not.  I’m the only one in existence who is so pathetic.

Okay.  Enough of my sniveling.  I apologize for abandoning you and pledge to do a better job of using my time wisely.  I’m going to make a schedule for reading and writing as well as exercising, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, practicing my music, grocery shopping, and cooking, as well as fitting in my volunteer activities.  Oh, no!  I just read over this list and I’m getting weak knees already.  But I’ve got to try to get my life back on track, because I am the only human being in the universe who has this problem.

About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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39 Responses to I Am My Own Worst Enemy

  1. Robin says:

    lol! Looks like you’ve been in my head this time around. And here I thought I was the only person on the planet who behaved and thought in the same way. 😉

  2. Leah says:

    You have not abandoned us and you are certainly not the only one who feels that way. Don’t stress too much. We’ll still be here.

  3. Al says:

    Maybe you should follow my credo, Susan. “Never put off ’til tomorrow what you can get out of doing altogether.”

    If that doesn’t work for you, you can join me at the our ‘Procrastinators Anonymous” meeting next Tuesday…..oh wait….. I think we’ve put that off until next month….or maybe it was next year.

  4. What a perfect thing for me to read as I procrastinate wildly and have not accomplished much in a long morning, and am currently putting off the organization I have been meaning to do for WEEKS and also practicing harp, and dance, and and and…. anyway thanks. I feel less alone -kate

  5. pattisj says:

    In the future, don’t forget to wave good-bye to us before you leave. 🙂 I looked at the Paleo diet, I liked his exercise plan. Need to print that out and put it where I’ll see it now…How is it working out for you? Don’t worry about the past, move forward. 🙂

    • Coming East says:

      Yes, I should have given you all fair warning. How thoughtless of me, Patti. I’ve lost two pounds in six days, but we’ll have to see if it stays off. I’m really only a few pounds more than I want to be, but it’s where the weight is at, which is my belly, that I’ve a problem with. And so do my clothes. I miss my bread, though.

  6. This is real. Thank you for writing it. Who knows what I’m posting this Thursday, but it will happen…my husband knows that about me. It’s a TX thing…remember TABS, TAKS, TAAS, and now STARS (oops, they’re probably in the wrong order). We were teachers right? And you’re right we still got out the door by 7:20. No, I can’t do that anymore, but I will sit in this chair that swivels and rocks and pray for inspiration.
    PS I really can’t imagine you not witty or funny…when the time is right for you. PPS I still chuckle over the magazine cover post!

    • Coming East says:

      Thanks, Georgette. Wow, we’re into STARS now? That’s a new one for me. I still remember Essential Elements. How can we ever forget, after all the drilling. Maybe it’s time for a new magazine cover soon? Give me a few weeks on this Paleo diet.

  7. I had to look up to see if I wrote this…you are not alone. Good luck in your new found freedom.

  8. Amy says:

    Thank you for thinking about your readers! I’m glad you are “breaking out of the cycle” thought I miss your posts. Enjoy the break, Susan!

    • Coming East says:

      I’m going to try, Amy. Right now I’m trying very hard to read at least one of each of my blogging friends’ posts, but I am so far behind, I don’t know how I’ll ever get caught up. I will get to your shortly, Amy, because I miss hearing what’s happening.

  9. You know, I think if we were neighbors we would be fat, happy and lazy… I would make you fattening foods and we could sit and talk about what we are putting off. Thanks, you make me feel normal and for me, that’s amazing! Love your blog!

    • Coming East says:

      Hey, Friend, I’m already happy and lazy and was working up to the fat part in my own, but I would welcome your cooking for me! Of course,mother we would have to take walks together so we could lose a pound and then gain it right back the next day.

      • You crack me up! Thanks again for the smiles today. Who knows, we may encourage each other to actually get some weight off and not fit into those dresses because they will be too big for us! Wouldn’t that be something?

      • Coming East says:

        You’re on, Friend. I challenge you to a dress duel. I only have less than three weeks left, though, before I need to wear that dress. When the wedding weekend is over, all. Bets are off.

      • Oh, okaaaayyyyyy, yes, that was my way to voice my hesitancy. I will make every effort to get back down a few pounds too. I have less than four weeks to go. Consider yourself high fived!!

  10. Susie says:

    Maybe we could use all of our fizzle to make some soda?

  11. I love you!
    YOu express exactly what happened to me while I was on vacation with “The Kids.” I even did a couple of interviews while I was in FL, which I completely forgot about when I got home. I got frustrated with myself; anxious about getting back into the swing of things. So much called me besides writing. Not that those other things seemed more important, but surely more pressing.

    And another thing: have you noticed EVERYTHING takes a little longer these days. I could get four kids off to school and myself ready for work in less time it takes me to get up, get breakfast and think about showering. When did the world start to spin faster?

  12. While you are correct, you are the only person (in this solar system at least) who has ever been in this predicament, I just wanted to request that when you figure out how to juggle all of the demands of life in the 21st century and still be motivated and creative, not to mention fulfilled, please blog a post to let me know how you did it just in case I should ever find myself in the same situation (although I doubt it).
    Since retirement from my full time “career” job I have done my best work at becoming Scarlett O’Hara… “Tomorrow is another day.”

    • Coming East says:

      What a hoot, Carol! Loved your comment. I’m sure I’ll be able to write that informative post in the near future. By the way, I just ordered two Casco Bay jackets from L.L. Bean, but I never seem to get you on the phone. Wouldn’t that be amazing if that ever happened? Is it even a possibility?

      • I am a “Peak” employee. I am currently on hiatus until late August/early September and then will work until Jan/Feb. So you will not get me for the next few month… but keep shopping anyway. After that, there is a chance, but it is apparently slim. One of my coworkers actually got her son on the phone last winter!

      • Coming East says:

        I think it would be fun to be a peak employee for Bean. Just got my latest women’s catalogue, so I may need to buy something else…

  13. Dor says:

    Join the crowd! You are definitely not alone Susan, but the way you put it is unique. Sniveling is totally acceptable. 🙂

  14. We expect so much of ourselves, too much, in all sorts of areas of our lives, expectations that we would never place on anyone else. Creativity does not like to be expected, she is a flighty muse who some people may be able to discipline but she certainly does not want to be comfortably reliable. Try finding some prompt to inspire, I like oneword . com for fun, or share some photos. She will return and when she does, can you ask her to visit me too?! 🙂

  15. kd sullivan says:

    I think that you’re being too hard on yourself. I remember when Leanne Shirtliffe told me to hit the delete button when it came to all of the reading and commenting I needed to do…THAT was liberating! Your family comes first…as I know that you know. This reader, is glad that you spent time with them!

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