I Need These New Glasses

I am one of those people who has to wear glasses from the moment I get out of bed in the morning until the moment I get back in bed at night. Though my prescription doesn’t change drastically every year, I usually get new glasses every spring because I get so tired of wearing the same ones day after day after day. This year, however, I’m thinking of holding out until Google’s new glasses are available. They are reportedly coming out with glasses that contain face recognition software that will be able to tell you who you are looking at and give you some details about them.

Can you imagine how useful this will be to those of us who have trouble remembering names and faces? Instead of overloading my fading memory with a lot of names I can’t recall and fearing an embarrassing encounter when I am in social situations, I can save my memory cells for other tasks, like trying to keep straight who cheated on whose wife last week or what scumbag is blackmailing which outstanding citizen of Salem in Days of Our Lives. No longer will I dread meeting my husband’s boss and blanking out on his name when he calls me by mine. When “How’s it going, Dude?” won’t cut it, I just have to slip on my Google Glasses and wait for the correct name to be whispered into my ear.

These new glasses also will have GPS capabilities and Google Street View, so I don’t actually have to go anywhere. I can designate a place and be taken there virtually. In fact, you and I could have virtual dates. We can decide on a restaurant or little cafe and both “meet” there without leaving the comfort of our homes. I’d rather not do that, though, because then I couldn’t use my face recognition software. We have to actually meet in the flesh for that to work. But the virtual date is an option if getting off your duff and making an effort is too taxing.

Anyway, I wanted to keep you informed of the upcoming Google gadgetry in case you have trouble remembering names like I do. I might even wear the glasses to bed in case I meet someone in my dreams.

About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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18 Responses to I Need These New Glasses

  1. Leah says:

    I’ll be very eager to hear about the new glasses. I’m like you. I have to put on glasses or contact the minute I wake until I go to bed. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough for lasik.

  2. Al says:

    I wonder what people in the witness protection program think about this?

  3. oldereyes says:

    Please … not another electronic gadget. I’d rather have someone say, “Hi, I can’t remember your name,” than pretend to remember me because they Googled me in their glasses. just sayin’.

  4. pattisj says:

    This is funny. I must see them when yours arrive! lol

  5. Amy says:

    The Google gadgetry sounds adventurous. I definitely can use the “name and face help” feature.

  6. I used to tell my students that when I was a baby I slept on the part of the brain that recalled names. I would love a pair of those glasses! While I have avoided the I-family, this is technology I could invest in. Now if we could combine this with that microchip that stores the rest of my memory I would be good to go safely into the world…

  7. Hehe, I too am highly dependant on my ocular support but I don’t know if I trust this new gimmick, I’ve seen what the face recognition is like in my camera – pants! 🙂

  8. gaycarboys says:

    I can’t imagine what that would be like. I’m not sure I’d want to know more about the people I speak to. Most I think I’d rather forget!

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