When I got the mail yesterday afternoon, I found a bargain book catalogue. Making a lovely cup of Earl Grey for myself, I propped my feet up, sat down and began to peruse the catalogue for books I might like to add to my collection. The following are some of the ones that didn’t make my list.
- And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks. Though written by two greats, William S. Burroughs and Jack Kerouac, the blurb said this work of fiction ( thank God!) ” tells a hard-boiled story of bohemian New York during WWII, full of drugs and art, obsession and violence.” The authors were unknowns at the time and the manuscript was rejected time and time again and sat in filing cabinets for decades. Aren’t we lucky to finally get access to it! (My typing is dripping with sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.)
- What To Say To Get Your Way: The Magic Words That Guarantee Better, More Effective Communication. Don’t need it. I already know those words and use them quite often. “Feeling Frisky?”
- Never Be Lied To Again: How to Get the Truth in 5 Minutes or Less in Any Conversation or Situation. Now if they had a book entitled Never Lie Again: How to Tell the Truth in Five Minutes or Less, I’d buy a bunch of copies and send them to the presidential candidates.
- Spam: The Cookbook. I don’t need to elaborate why I’m not getting this one, do I?
- 101 Things to Do With Canned Soup. I can think of only one: READ THE SODIUM CONTENT ON THE LABEL!
- Totally Potato Cookbook. Can you picture the people who would actually get excited about this cookbook? Remember the children’s song “I’m a Little Teapot, Short and Stout?” Somewhere in that title is the answer to my question.
- Collector’s Guide to Pez, 3rd Edition. Darn! Can’t believe I missed the first two.
- The Encyclopedia of Wood. Now I enjoy a good thriller as well as anyone, but I think this may be over the top, even for me.
- The Plot to Seize the White House. Yeah, me too. I thought this was about current politics, but it’s really about a “shocking true story of conspiracy to overthrow Franklin Delano Roosevelt in the early 1930’s.” I think what you and I were thinking it was about is even more shocking.
I’m only on page 9 and there are 80 pages, so I’ll have a few moadd books to add at a later time.