This week’s Red Dress Club‘s Red Writing Hood prompt is about character development. We’re supposed to write about what our character wants most. This is my first work of fiction to be posted on my blog. Seriously. Everything else I’ve written really did happen.
Dear Ms. Thomas,
I hope you’ve received your gloves by now. Walter down at the post office said you should have got them by Wednesday. I’m so glad I got to meet you at the diner. Sorry again about getting ketchup on your sleeve. I swear I’m not cut out to be a waitress. Jerry, my boss, must think so too cause he calls me molasses most of the time. But whenever I try to go faster, disaster strikes. Anyway, sorry about the ketchup. You sure were nice about it.
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I wish I could be more like you. You’re so sure of yourself. Did you always know what you wanted out of life? I sure as heck never wanted to be a waitress, but, well, here I am. I thought I might like to be a beautician. You know, have my own beauty shop one day (or salon as those high class ones are called). Maybe in a big city and have fancy customers. But there’s not any place to go to beauty school around here and I haven’t saved enough to go anywhere else.
But since I met you, I’ve been thinking I want more out of life. I know you’re a counselor, so I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I think I could make a good counselor, too. I mean, I listen to a lot of people right here in the diner, and they’re always asking me for advice. Why just the other day, Edna May Froebish asked me if I thought Joe would pay more attention to her if she dyed her hair blonde. I told her that if she had to do that to get Joe to notice her, then he wasn’t worth it. Don’t you think that’s good advice? Mind you, I also think Edna May would look hideous as a blonde with those bushy black eyebrows of hers!
I’ve also been thinking about what you said about God having a plan for my life. I’ve been asking him daily what that plan might be, but so far I haven’t gotten any revelations. What if God’s plan is for me to stay right here in Hogwash, Kentucky? I don’t think I could abide that! I mean, sometimes I wanna get out of here so bad, it makes my skin itch.
Anyway, didn’t mean to burden you with my troubles cause I know you got plenty of your own. I hope that new daughter-in-law of yours is starting to come around. Just kill her with kindness, like I told you. Mama says if you keep killing a body with kindness, they’re bound to come around sooner or later. Course sometimes you gotta do it between gritted teeth.
Well, I guess I’d better let you go. Sure am glad you left your gloves here so I could get to know you a little. Hope you don’t mind me pouring a little of my heart out to you, but you being a counselor and all, guess you’re used to it. Just wanted you to know that you inspired me to go after my dreams (once I figure out what they are, of course). If you get a chance, I’d love to hear how things are going for you. And sure am sorry about the ketchup.
Your friend, Sabina
The voice is authentic here. I really the sweetness and innocence that comes out through her word choices and phrasing.
Thank you, Nancy.
First I love that this is a letter. Second I like Sabina’s innocence and her excitement to discover God’s plan and her hope that He’ll take her way from Hogwash. This character is so lovable.
I love her, too! I want to hear more from her. I’m hoping she’ll write more of her story for me. Thanks, Julie.
I love this! I’m so interested in this character. The part about Edna May is so perfect. and GREAT name. And Sabina kind of trying this counseling profession on for size. It also seems they had quite a conversation so what she says about how she talks to everyone rings totally true. It’s funny how sometimes people you hardly know inspire you the most.
Now that you’ve said this, I’m remembering how my husband says I talk to everyone! LOL. Guess there’s some of me in Sabina. Scary! I would love to explore this character more, too. Thanks so much for your comment.
I enjoyed this very much, it may be fiction but it reads as believable. You have quite a talent there. Well done. 🙂
I’m attached to Sabina already. I don’t think I can just leave her alone. She needs her own story. Thanks so much for your comment!
I love the voice of this piece! It’s so natural and easy to relate to. I like the thought of a stranger coming in to our lives and inspiring us with one interaction, one moment of bonding.
Really nice post! Love where you went with the prompt. Stopping by from TRDC.
I would love to write a whole short story around this character. She feels so real! Thank you so much for stopping by.
This is great! I loved it!
Thanks, Julia. It’s fun to branch out and do something different. I’ve gotten out of the fiction writing mode, so this was enjoyable.
I like her voice and use of local dialect. I like the fact that she doesn’t know what she wants but wants to know what she wants — she’s searching for herself. I like her humor (eyebrows and blonde hair) and I like her uncertainties. She’s a vulnerable character but strong at the same time. Nicely done.
Love what you pulled out of Sabina about her character. I love it when a character becomes real, don’t you? Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Love that you stretched into fiction and the letter format really worked here!
You really pushed your characters forward and I love the focus on the gloves. And of course, the ketchup! 🙂
Thank you so much. I worked in a diner one summer when I was in college, and my nickname was molasses because I was so slow. Inspiration comes from many sources!
That means a lot, coming from you! Thanks a bunch, Daughter!