The WordPress Daily Post topic for today is “Pick something you don’t like and choose to accept it.” Usually, the things I choose to accept are the things I can’t change anyway. Seems pointless to say I choose to accept them when no choice is actually involved, but I like to feed my delusion that I’m more in control than I am. For instance, I choose to accept that I will always be a short, knock-kneed woman with pasty white skin and freckles rather than a statuesque, busty, bronzed beauty with Betty Grable legs.
But, if I had to choose to accept something I really had some degree of control over, in keeping with the spirit of the prompt, I would choose to accept that I will never write my great American novel. Don’t get me wrong. I have started it. After many, many drafts, I have finally written the first sentence. It’s a fabulous first sentence. In fact, it’s so good it makes me want to read the rest of the story. Alas, it does not make me want to write the rest of the story.
Writing is such hard work. You have to be terribly disciplined. When I had a full-time job, I used it as an excuse for not writing. I didn’t have the time, I reasoned. Now I have the time, so if that were really the reason, I would have been a writing fool for the two and a half years I’ve been retired.
The truth is, I just don’t want to work that hard. Plus, I never was very good at dealing with rejection. Both of those things make a writing career pretty much unattainable. I just feel bad, though, wasting that terrific first sentence. Oh, and I have the ending in my head and it’s poignant and deeply satisfying. It’s all that in-between stuff that eludes me. Guess that’s sort of important.