Letter to My Son-in-law

Dear D.,

Because you live so far away, and when I come for a visit, so much is going on, it seems that you and I never have a moment alone so I can tell you just what I think of you and how important you are to our family.  I thought right now might be a good time.

Our daughter is an amazing woman, as you already know.  She is passionate in everything she does.  She is so much like her father used to be, with his lists and organization and planning, that it scares me.  Her dad has mellowed with age, but our daughter never seems to be able to slow down.  You bring a sense of abandonment to her life that she needs.  You give her permission to be spontaneous and frivolous once in awhile.  In other words, you bring balance to her life.

Our daughter is so very loving and giving, and she married a man who is her equal in that.  It is not hard to love your family, but to carry a burden in your heart for humanity is an unusual thing these days.  When the two of you see a need in your community, you don’t weigh the cost before you rush to meet that need.  You are both such  wonderful examples to your children.

You are an incredible father to those two beautiful girls.  You know when you need to be strong, and when it’s okay to be a softee.  You give them the support they need without taking away their opportunities for self-expression and growth.  You, the rugged he-man, are even learning to understand girlee, teen-age angst and deal with it patiently.  I know you are only on the cusp of that, but I have no doubt that you will master it as well as anyone can.

You are exactly the kind of husband your father-in-law and I wished for our daughter to have.  You love her unconditionally.  I watch the way you look at her and hear the way you talk to her, and I know that you see her as the treasure her father and I have always  known she is.  Thank you for loving our daughter so much that there is nowhere else on earth she’d rather be than by your side.

Me with D and Daughter

Oh, and one last thing, D.  I love you because I know that you will sit down with your old mother-in-law when she visits this weekend and watch the Final Four with her when no one else will.  Thanks, Son.  And Go Huskies!



About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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18 Responses to Letter to My Son-in-law

  1. Lori Lipsky says:

    What a lovely letter. I hope to have a son-in-law or two someday, and you’ve set a fine example for me. Thanks.

  2. This is lovely! We are also blessed in our sons-in-law, and are thankful every day – especially for the role models they are to our grandsons. So nice the way you shared your feelings here.

    • Coming East says:

      Thanks, RS. We always want our children to have as happy marriage as we have, and when that happens, it is so gratifying. We are blessed with an incredible daughter-in-law as well.

  3. In two weeks my daughter will marry the love of her life. I’m blessed to say that I feel the same way about my future son in law as you do of yours. What a beautiful letter. God Bless

    • Coming East says:

      So glad you found my post and it was meaningful to you. Sounds like you will soon be able to write a similar one of your own. How grand! Thanks for taking the time to comment, and congratulations on the upcoming wedding. What a glorious family time to look forward to!

  4. oldereyes says:

    You are lucky to have a son-in-law you can write such a nice letter to (yes, I know … bad sentence). I love my son-in-law very much but he’s much more a work in progress.

    I just finished watching the lady Huskies lose … sad but they just didn’t have it tonight. Maya was the whole team. Hopefully we’ll get by Butler tomorrow.

    • comingeast says:

      Watched the men win last night. It was ugly, but we got it done. Bittersweet, though, because this should have been the year that both our men and women won the top prize again.

  5. mypajamadays says:

    I am crying now. Thank you.

    – em

  6. Go HUSKIES!!!

    Here’s hoping they can play as well when they’ve had a whole week off than they do when they’ve had one little day off.

  7. whatsaysyou says:

    Wow, what a cool letter you posted up for your son-in-law. I believe you are so fortunate to have a respectful and loving man married to your daughter who loves and respects her unconditionally and also being a father to two kids. Thanks for sharing.

    • comingeast says:

      Of course, you realize the most important point is the last one about watching the Final Four with me. Just kidding! Yes, we are so lucky. Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment.

  8. Pingback: Do we get to choose? | I choose how I will spend the rest of my life

  9. mbenoy says:

    i hope i find a husband that my mom loves as much as you love D…kudos to you, your daughter, and your family…touched my heart 🙂

    • comingeast says:

      It’s so important to remember that you don’t marry an individual; you marry a family. If you choose a man from a good family and his mother adores you, that’s a very good sign. Plus, your mom would most likely adore your husband, too. If you want to read more about D, check out my daughter’s blog, mypajamadays.com. Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment.

      • yen says:

        i love this post! that’s what my mom keeps telling me about marriage: you marry a family and how it’s important to see how he treats his family especially his mom. thanks for writing this. sweet and heartwarming.

      • comingeast says:

        Your mom is a smart woman! Wish other young people would “get it” before they take the plunge. Thanks for your comment.

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