Since I retired, the library has become my best friend, figuratively speaking, of course.  Not knowing what to do with my freedom, I headed to the library in hopes that it would entertain me, help me discover hidden talents, and teach this old dog new tricks.  When I discovered iBistro, the search tool that allows me to find resources in the entire Virginia Beach library system and have them sent to the little branch library I walk to, there was no stopping me.

After an entertainment focus that led me to read a massive saga consisting of five books, each with 850 pages or more, eliminating any time I had to cook, clean, or even get dressed in the morning, I moved on to the Julia Child French cooking phase.  Very short phase.  Next, I tried learning yoga from a book.  The only page I mastered was, “Lie down on the floor and breathe.”

I took out two videos on Irish dancing, something I’ve always wanted to learn since I married into a big Ukrainian-White Russian family full of stories and folklore, and I wanted to show them we Irish people have a lot of culture to be proud of, too.  Who would have thought that a people who had one of the shortest cookbooks in the world could have one of the most complicated dances, fascinating to watch but impossible to learn.

So I took those dance videos back and exchanged them for other, more reasonable dance instruction videos in preparation for my son’s wedding (NOTE:  I’m not at liberty to say which son or give details because I tacitly agreed not to drag my sons’ lives through the world of the Internet.  My daughter, however, is fair game because she has her own blog (Pajama Days) and I’ve been mentioned many times, nubby fingernails and all).  I took out videos on ballroom dance, executing the perfect wedding dance, and swing dance, both East and West Coast.  For weeks before the event my husband and I would move the coffee table out of the way or move the car out of the garage and practice looking like old pros.  We should have started a year ago.  Anyway, when the big day arrived, I was looking forward to gliding onto the dance floor.  I even bought expensive flat sandals so I wouldn’t have to dance in heels.  All eyes would be on us, jaws dropping in awed appreciation of grace in action.  But by the time the dancing began, my husband had been “celebrating” a little too long, and as the music started, he stood in front of me, glazed eyes glistening, and said, “What’s a rock step?”  Can’t blame the library for that one.

I just came home with three DVD sets on how to learn Russian, which I’d like to learn for personal reasons I can’t share with you (see NOTE above).  Let’s see…Oh, this one says it’s the short course.  It has eight CD’s and a 567-page book.  Let me open the book and see what this is all about.  What’s this?  Another alphabet to learn?  You mean it’s not presented phonetically?  Hmm…Think I might need to renew this once or twice.