Look Ma, No Wrinkles!

You know you just might need a facelift if you bend over to dry your hair and you nearly suffocate when your nose is stifled by your sagging cheeks swinging forward to meet and greet each other.  Recently, I saw an article in my Prevention magazine about alternatives to surgical facelifts.  The only kind of facelift I’ve been able to afford is to lie across the bed on my back with my head hanging slightly over the edge.  Yes, it does make my cheeks fall back into position, but it also makes my husband think I’m always ready for him.

Anyway, this article mentioned an invisible tape that you put on your eyelids and it gives you an instant eye lift.  I’ve never heard of such a thing.  The article didn’t mention where you can purchase this tape, but it did say that it cost $30.00.  Quite pricy, especially if you can only wear it once.  I’m wondering if the double-sided tape my daughter uses for scrapbooking would work as well.  Certainly much cheaper.  How do you blink with it on?  Are your eyes always wide open?  Uh oh, creepy zombie image just came to mind!  Clearly, I’m not getting the concept of this product.

Now I’m wondering if there is a tape strong enough to smooth out this chicken neck of mine.  I tried pulling all that extra skin around to the back and holding it there with a potato chip bag clip, but besides being rather painful, if I wanted to look side to side, I had to turn my whole body.  I think this tape idea might work better.  And getting back to the original cheek problem, I wonder if my sagging cheeks could be held up with tape as well.  Perhaps I could anchor them to my ears.  Would have to be something strong, though, like electrical tape, and it would take an awful lot of foundation to disguise it.  No, I think the weight of my cheeks would bend my ears in half.  I need to study this a little more.  I’ll get back to you.

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About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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