A Momentous Decision is Looming

My 65th birthday is coming up fast, and my husband wants to get me the perfect present. He has asked me for ideas, and I have come up blank. This is a tricky situation. What do I ask for that would thrill me without it being too extravagant? My husband’s 65th birthday is less than a year after mine, and I will be in the same situation he is in, except he already knows what he wants. A new watch. I will not have to go through what he is going through now: having a spouse who is indecisive.

I don’t know if my indecision is because I want so many things, or if there isn’t anything that I’m dying to have. I think it’s the latter. Besides, there’s the other problem I face. Once I figure out what it is I want, then the fun is over. For as sure as I tell George that such-and-such is what I want, something else will strike my fancy, and I’ll regret my decision. Case in point: Yesterday we were in Blue Ridge Mountain Sports, and I saw the most amazing apple green Deuter backpack (it’s German) that I fell in love with. It had so many pockets and places to stash things, it was lightweight, felt great on my back, and I could picture myself using it when I walked to the library to carry my books back and forth. I could stick my iPad in an inside pocket and walk to town, and if it got warm, I could put my sweater inside it, or if it got cold, I could pull my sweatshirt out of it. When we go on trips, I could fill it with everything I want to get at quickly. Yes, it would be the perfect 65th birthday present. George could tell how excited I was. The sales associate, who was so helpful in showing me all the features (did I mention it has a rain cover that acts as a giant shower cap in case I get caught in the rain?) could tell I was excited. I made the day for the two of them with my enthusiasm. George was finally at peace. And then…

Then I left the store and started to second-guess myself. The backpack might be bigger than I really need. I can’t picture myself wearing it around town except to the library. Would I get enough use out of it, considering the price? I talked myself out of it.

I’ve thought about asking for a new bow for my violin, but I rather like my old bow. Plus, it’s a great excuse to use when I sound screechy. “Sorry, but I need a new bow.” How about binoculars? I’d like to join the Audubon Society and take up bird-watching. But, wait…I’m over that now. A Kitchen-Aid stand mixer? Yikes, I can see my expanding waistline already, not to mention George’s, as we stuff our mouths with cookies, breads, pastries, muffins, etc. Forget that! I don’t need a new camera, I don’t wear a watch anymore except to time the rector’s sermons, I’m not a collector, and I don’t want a new iPod Nano until I get a new car that has an MP3 jack (and that is years down the road).

Truth be told, I’d be happy with a nice dinner out, which I was going to get anyways. I’m just not a very needy person. I’m content with what I have and don’t pine for anything particular. I’m letting George off the hook. Hear that, Honey? You don’t have to fret over what to get me anymore. Really. I don’t need a present. I don’t even want a present. I’m so over it. I mean it. Absolutely.

Oh, wait, wait, wait! How much are those massage chairs in Brookstone? I’ve always wanted one of those, I think.

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About Coming East

I am a writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who thinks you're never too old until you're dead. My inspiration is Grandma Moses who became a successful artist in her late 70's. If I don't do something pretty soon, though, I'll have to find someone older for inspiration.
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33 Responses to A Momentous Decision is Looming

  1. Jiawei says:

    Oh Susan, I can totally relate to this indecisiveness. The minute I made a decision I wanted something, i want something else even more. Glad I’m not alone.

  2. Ha ha! I know your problem – I hate Christmas and my birthday because I just can’t think of anything I want/need. The kind of things I go for are specialist things that only I can buy correctly or have access to so inevitably I end up getting money so I can buy them myself – which isn’t very satisfactory for either side! I just don’t want a great of things. It’s even worse since I’ve used the web more and more. Everything I need is already there and (mostly) free!

    I think the going out for dinner is by far the best idea. People make the mistake of thinking gifts have to be material so they are ‘always there’ but actually we often just end up shoving them in the back of a cupboard and forgetting about them. But memories of a nice evening out, a lovely show, trip to an amazing even or museum – these things last in our minds forever! :)

    • Coming East says:

      You are so right, Ken. Just spending time with George is the only present I really want. I think The big present is more important for George, and I don’t want to disappoint him.

  3. How about a trip? You could go somewhere where you can use that backpack for a hike, take pictures and capture your thoughts on your WordPress iPad app.

    • Coming East says:

      A trip would be nice, but my birthday comes at an inconvenient time, just two days after New Years Day. All our money will have gone for Christmas presents for the kids, and so will Feorge’s vacation time. But maybe we can plan a celebratory trip for the spring.

  4. Your post made me laugh this morning because I thought I was the only person in the world is so indecisive but I see I have very good company. I just had a major bout of over-analyzing and indecisiveness over a new kitchen faucet! And we needed it badly because the old one was leaking big time. When it comes to telling people gift ideas for myself….whoo, boy….I am stumped. I’d like to think it’s just because I don’t really need too much. ;-)

    • Coming East says:

      I just don’t want to make a choice I’ll regret, and I don’t want George to spend so much money on me, even though I’m totally worth it. I’m glad we don’t have the money right now to get granite countertops, sink and faucet for the kitchen because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make my mind up.

  5. lulu says:

    Think of something so preposterous that if it were to happen, it would be a total shock. Me, I always wish for a Bentley. Who knows, one of these days I may get it.

  6. How about a trip? Celebrate both 65s with somewhere special and different?

    But do like the backpack, the bow and of course, dinner!

    • Coming East says:

      I think we should do that, Lisa. We could do something this summer because it is in the middle of our two birthdays. Mine is at the beginning of January and his is the beginning of December. I think he is probably going to get me that backpack, and I will love it.

  7. George- get the backpack!!! And be sure and take pics! I want to see it:). I think we are all like that- we want so many things but then feel selfish for wanting to buy items for ourselves. I just recently started having my hubby take pics with his camera of things I love. Then, he has pics to choose from and can surprise me whenever an occasion presents itself. Happy birthday!! And enjoy:)

    • Coming East says:

      What a great idea with the pictures! Sometimes you see something you think you’d really like, and then you forget about it. If you took a picture, you’d have a record. If I get the backpack, I will have to blog about it.

  8. Love it! I never know what I want either. We went away this weekend. Hubby was in a store buying shoes, he asked what I wanted. I said nothing… but then looked at some cute jackets and sweaters and some socks… I got nothing… just couldn’t decide if I absolutely needed something. Our 40th anniversary is in 2015, that year we will both be 60, we figure we will really do it up big, and so far we have about four different trips planned that will be fitting such a celebration… I am certain in two years we will have gone through 100′s of itineraries and plans and end up going to dinner down the street and that will be it.

    • Coming East says:

      You sound so much like us. We aren’t needy people, plus I hate to spend money unless it’s for something I really want or need, and right now, I haven’t come up with either of those conditions yet.

  9. Robin says:

    Poor George. I feel for him. My husband is a lot like you in that he has trouble deciding what he wants for his birthday because he doesn’t really want or need anything. Whereas I’m easy. I know exactly what I want. Most of the time. :)

    • Coming East says:

      And what is it that you want, Robin? I feel for you because I know I make it hard for George.

      • Robin says:

        A “big girl” camera. My point & shoot has been wonderful, but I’d love to move up to a DSLR. That will lead to other items (lenses, perhaps, and a camera bag and who knows what other little accessories there are?), making shopping for me easy for years to come. The problem is, I’m not sure which camera and then there’s the outrageous price for some of them and, well, I may not be that different from you after all. :)

      • Coming East says:

        Haha, Robin. That would be a good gift for you, though. I have a Nikon DSLR, and I like it a lot, but when I travel, I like to bring the smaller Nikon so I don’t have to change lenses.

  10. Why is it when the moment presents itself, I can’t think of a thing? But months later and throughout the year, I keep telling myself I must remember to tell Rick or daughters I want x. Usually, Rick gets me a book or piece of jewelry (that’s a contrast), Daughter #1 gets me something sweet smelling, and Daughter #2 finds something updated for the kitchen. I love finding something for Rick. He’s easy. He chronicles all his wants with regularity. :)

  11. adinparadise says:

    Decisions, decisions. Sixty-five is quite a momentous birthday, so why not go away to somewhere really special for a spectacular weekend together? :)

  12. Patti Ross says:

    Good luck. It sounds like you want a surprise, fueled by your fluctuating interests. Then George can pick something from that small but growing list.

  13. The professor thinks a message chair sounds heavenly! Of course a cup of sotsiz tea does the trick for him. Happy Birthday! to you if the professor doesn’t have the pleasure of blogging further with you; hopefully that will not be the case….

  14. Dianna says:

    Oops – that should be that I wear the “same simple pieces day after day”…. typing too fast.

    • Coming East says:

      George’s first thought was jewelry, but I told him I did not need anymore. I’m like you and just wear the same simple pieces every day. Since I retired, I just don’t have enough places to go to warrant me having too many fancy things. So now hubby doesn’t know what to get.

  15. Dianna says:

    It’s a tough decision…. Motor Man insists on buying me jewelry for every occasion. But I have to pick it out. And I usually wear the same simple thing pieces day after day…..

  16. Al says:

    George, if you’re reading, regarding the last half the the next to last paragraph, don’t believe that for a second! But then you already know that.

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